Aruba 2006: Your boycott dollars at or not at work
Steve Safran July 31st, 2006
BY STEVE SAFRAN
MANAGING EDITOR
LOST REMOTE
It has been a year since I last visited Aruba. The mania has eased. A little. Other sensational, pointless, missing person stories have come and gone. Armchair detectives have had a chance to post their indignation to the point where even they have nearly run out of bizzaro conspiracies. Nearly. But not entirely.
Arubans politely refer to the Natalee Holloway situation as “The Problems.” Plural. Not problem as in one. Problems. As in “The hotels say their booking have been off a little since The Problems” or “The regulars still come despite The Problems.” A missing person is a singular problem. But the chaos the U.S. media and bloggers heaped upon this flat, scrubby island has come in plurals and multiples of plurals.
What you need to know first is that the Arubans are still, simply, far too polite and kind to talk about “The Problems” in any great detail. Actually, maybe they do talk in great detail, but they keep it among themselves. Certainly, when an American journalist goes up to them and says “So, that business with Natalee – pretty fucked up, huh?” they know better than to say anything for fear of being the lead on Inside Edition that evening. Still, you can tell, they sort of want to agree.
Off the top here, my bias: I like Aruba and I hate stupid media circus stories. There you have it.
No journalist should ever get so deeply, personally involved in a story that they lose sight of any desire of objectivity or any hope of keeping a single incidence of violence in perspective. No news organization should ever become so blinded by the ratings that one
sensationalist, non-news, tabloid, race-driven story gets that it loses sight of, oh I don’t know, a giant freakin’ hurricane that’s about to destroy a major city in their country. I’m just throwing that out there as a hypothetical.
Back to Aruba, now. And if you’ve never been here, a quick lay of the land: It’s flat. The end. The Dutch settled the place, and mixed and mingled with the local population for a couple of hundred years which yielded a handsome local populace. What do you get when you mix gorgeous people from Holland with beautiful people from the Carribean? Well, native Arubans are mocha-skinned, dark-haired and have steel-blue eyes: it’s A-Rod Island.
Things have quieted down in the year since I visited last. When I was in Aruba in July, 2005, Natalee Mania was in full swing. The sat trucks were in bloom, the journalists were hitting on Colombian hookers (who hits on a hooker?) and the air was ripe with the promise of a story that could be milked for months. Natalee was good for ratings, she was good for that guy from the Aruban “newspaper” called “The News” who kept showing up on cable news every night to talk about all the events that hadn’t happened that day, she was great for local hotels that were probably charging networks in Aruban Florans (1.75 AFL = $1) and she certainly got plenty of advance money for all the book writers.
The way the Natalee Summer Reality Show was going, I thought for sure it would have been picked up for the fall season. Sadly, real reality got in the way of fake reality when The Hurricane came, and the media kittens were distracted by new colored balls of yarn. But then, thanks to Dr. Phil, fake reality set in once more and the Aruba Boycott began! Sort of!
See, Dr. Phil is so sensitive that he wanted all of us to boycott Aruba until Arubans “got serious” about finding Natalee. What that meant, nobody is really sure. I guess Aruban politicians can’t furrow their brows in that Clintonesque way that is required of our pols now when they pretend to look pretend concerned about pretend problems. Dr. Phil had
Natalee’s Mom on the show to discuss… wait for it… Natalee’s virginity. Because all teenage girls are honest with their mothers about that. And then – and this is what really made me mad – someone posted one of my stories on the Dr Phil board. Why was I angry? I couldn’t get the pageviews there.
When something causes me a mild inconvenience, then it’s a huge international incident. So that’s when I took action. By which I mean, I did nothing.
But that’s OK, because you’ll note that participating in a “boycott” means doing nothing, too. And that’s an essential American form of protest. We’ll protest or support anything so long as that means we do nothing. Boycott Aruba? No problem. We’ll go to a safer place like, uh, Jamaica. Boycott South Africa? Great. I hear it’s a long flight anyway. Support a cause? As long as you’re doing the walk-a-thon and I just have to give the credit card number. What? I have to enter it on to a website, too? The hell with you, pal!
Boycotts are a great lazy man’s protest. They’re our national way of telling Mom on you. There’s even a site for people to monitor how their pet boycotts are going: Boycottwatch.org may not be unbiased, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun. In the past month alone, O’Reilly has called for a boycott of Mexico and a New Jersey mayor is threatening a McDonald’s boycott. If you ask me, our country could use a few McDonald’s boycotts.
Righteous indignation is part of our bodily constiution. In fact, it’s a part of our national Constitution, right at the lead: “We the people in order to form a MORE PERFECT union…” Perfect not being good enough, we had to get all up in the Brits’ shit and go MORE PERFECT on their asses. They think they all that.
So if we can show we care more than other people care by doing less than they do to show them they should do more than they’re doing, by GOD we’re all for it. Unless, of course, Dr. Phil says we shouldn’t be, in which case you better believe we are not.
Here is something I didn’t expect: many Arubans I spoke with think Natalee is still alive. Granted, I spoke with them while I was under the influence of Balashi beer and dark rum, and this is the closest this article will come to actual reporting, but I was really surprised by this. I do not fall into this camp. I am solidly on the Occam’s Razor side of the business. But time and tide and Elizabeth Smart make fools of us all (some more than others), so I’m willing to hear the argument. It goes something like this:
The misfit Aruban teens left Natalee on the beach that infamous night. Then, according to the various theories, she was either picked up by another person or persons at the hotel and kidnapped her. Various other theories have various relatives knowing varying amounts of this. Theories have her in Mexico, Venezuela or Colombia. Some theories have
Natalee cooperating with the conspiracy, too.
OK, somewhat far-fetched. But can you blame Arubans for engaging in a fantasy that would allow them to say “See? We TOLD you it was the Mexicans! Now go boycott Cancun, you dopes!”
For the most part, the mainstream media has moved on to other made-up crises. Greta Van Sustain-a-story came out in favor of her own coverage recently, telling people if they didn’t like her Natalee stories then they could change the channel. Solid journalistic defense there.
However, the blog lynch mob has moved in. And if you think the bloggers will somehow rise up and take back the dignity that mainstream journalists have lost, just Google or Technorati search “Natalee Holloway.” But don’t tell them I sent you. They already broke my inbox twice, teaching me the valuable lesson that they love so much that they will hate anyone who doesn’t love as much as they love. (And if that doesn’t summarize all the problems in the world right now, I can’t possibly come up with anything better.)
One board hosts is an absolutely frightening rampage of people who take glee in “reporting” troubles in the Aruban economy. In fact, a group of its readers has even organized itself a little trip to Aruba to teach the Arubans a lesson. There’s no better way to support a travel boycott than to travel somewhere, I guess.
Something for the vigilantes to understand: when you hurt a tourism-based economy, you don’t hurt the police. You don’t hurt the politicians. You don’t hurt the big shots. You hurt the workers. You hurt the poor. You shut down the shops of the people barely getting by who depend on tourists so they can afford food and shelter. I’ve seen
those shelters, gang. You are ripping people out of places you’d be scared shitless to be in for an afternoon. You are hurting the people you would profess to help in any other circumstance.
So, what impact is the alleged Aruban boycott having on the local economy? Tough to say. Pick the group with the agenda, and I’ll show you the number. Aruba’s tourism board says tourism’s off .2%. The newspaper Aruba Today (being picked on at blogs in the definitive case of “blaming the messenger”) says it’s down 4.7%. I’ve also read 11%. Hawaii’s tourism board, humorously, says Aruba tourism is down 30%. And finally, the whole shebang is on the brink of ruin according to the nutjobs.
It’s hard to know whether the downturn is because of The Problems, partially because of The Problems, or a function of high gas prices, fear of overseas travel, trouble in the Middle East, concern about Britney’s marriage, the weak dollar (or is it strong?), or worries over the Red Sox starting rotation. Let’s split the difference and suppose that tourism is off about 10%. If we take that as the true indicator, then we can determine that the impact on the Aruban economy because of the disappearance of Natalee Holloway is…
Oops.
Can’t take that thought any further. Because if I do, I risk generalizing based upon a single incidence. And that wouldn’t lend any sense of proportion to the story. It would just be my opinion, anyway. It might mislead readers into thinking there’s a huge downward spiral. It might do the opposite and tell them the economy is doing fine when
it isn’t. It’s just one figure. It’s meaningless. Who in their right mind would dare make a story out of that?
Nobody. Unless they wanted to add to The Problems for people who don’t
deserve them.
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