Sen. Stevens calls net neutrality a ‘fetish’

What would we do without ol’ Sen. Ted “Tubes” Stevens? While pushing for his franchise reform bill (I suggest better McDonald’s bathrooms), Tubes is bemoaning that he’s getting delayed by the network neutrality lobby. “It’s a fetish. It’s really something that doesn’t exist,” said the esteemed Senator from Alaska. In the interest of helping Sen. Tubes, may I suggest he avoid searching “fetish” on the internet?