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Things Viewers Never, Ever Say (Part II)  
 
By
Steve Safran
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER, NECN; MANAGING EDITOR, NECN.com

 

"We all read the list, we all laughed hysterically, and we'll all keep doing ALL that crap..."

- Poster on Medialine.com

THE first list of "Things Viewers Never, Ever Say" was met with laughs, derision, suggestions, mockery and outright hatred. But lots of you had an opinion. Some of you even emailed me your opinions. And many of those opinions involved bending my body into positions that, frankly, I don't think are possible now that I'm 35.

Most encouraging were those who said they were passing the list around their newsroom. Please do. And thank you.

One depressing note: it seems my first list got sent around as a forwarded email to a bunch of newsies without attribution! I know this because it was forwarded to ME. Really. I'm excited to join the pantheon of Forwarded Emails Filling our Nation's Inboxes with Crap. But please, people, I beg you: at least give me the blame I so richly deserve. I have so little else.

Here, then, is THINGS VIEWERS NEVER, EVER SAY: PART TWO.

 

"I hope they'll take up more of the screen with data."

"Sadly, the station that I am watching presented this story to me 15 seconds after its competitor did. I know this, for I watch four televisions at once."

"It's important to me whether a station's lower third font is in all caps or uses lower case as well."

"You mean there were PREVIOUS stumbling blocks on the road to peace in the Middle East?"

"When one person is injured in a car accident, I don't really care. But when one person is injured in a light plane crash, I want to know!"

"Did you see the editing on that package? Oh, the L-cuts!"

"I know it's going to be 70 degrees and sunny today. Please, for the love of God, tell me about the barometric pressure!"

"This station really should mention its call letters more."

"This new logo really makes me want to watch their news now."

"I'm glad they clarified that it was "ACTOR" Arnold Schwarzenegger. I had no idea who they were talking about."

"Those six second SOTs are too long. They should trim them to four."

"I'm not sure I cared much for that story count."

"Sure, I know they told me a lot of important news. But, darn it - they broke format!"

"I wasn't able to change emotional gears fast enough between those two stories."

"The chopper pics were OK, but I really had hoped they would have ground pics by now."

"I really wish they had dissolved between those two VOs instead of a straight take."

"It really helped my understanding of that story that they asked a couple of random idiots on the street what THEY thought of it."

"10 minutes into the show, they needed to establish the male anchor on cam before going to that VO. I had no idea who was talking."

"More puns in teases, dammit! More puns!"

"That Doppler Radar 9000 sure beats the hell out of the competitor's Doppler Radar 3000. NOW the forecasts will be accurate."

"If only this graphics package used a slightly darker shade of blue as a complimentary color."

"Sure, that logo is big. But it could be bigger."

"They should use the word "local" a lot more in this newscast."

"I don't really care about the stories or accuracy. What I'm interested in is how well they brand their station."

"I knew the station would give me news that was live and local. But latebreaking too? Awright!"

So there you have it. Like every movie that makes a modest profit, we have assembled an inferior sequel. For the inevitable TTVNES III, (oh - that didn't work at all... better hire a consultant) send us your suggestions. I know of one newsroom where they were adding their own things viewers never, ever say. Send 'em in! You won't BELIEVE part three - and it could be harming your children!

Email Steve at ssafran@necn.com.

 

 

 
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